ride home(R.+M.=All That Remains)

So, we’re in the car on the way home from Tessa’s house, and although I don’t have net, I felt the need to write something, even if that something is just for me, and nobody else. Its altogether possible that nobody will ever read this, let alone care if they did.
How sad is that though?
I suppose, I could just forgo the formalities, as I am talking to myself. Je suis fini.
I feel empty, as though all joy has gone from my life. Isn’t that sad?
Like an empty world. I no longer write. I no longer sing. I no longer love. I have given it up. No more love. I am ruining my own love for the world, and my own love for life. C’est la fin de mon vivre. Je ne peux pas vivons. Silence in my mind.
Kiss From a Rose
There used to be a graying tower alone on the sand
You remain the light on the dark side of me.
The world remains the drug that’s the high and not the pill.
Did you know that when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
BABY
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Oooh, the more I get of you the stranger it feels.
And now that your rose is in bloom, your light hits the gloom of the day.
There is so much a man can tell you,
So much he can say,
You remain, my power, my pleasure, my pain.
BABY
To me you’re like a strong addiction that I can’t deny.
Did you know that when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
BABY
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
Oooh, the more I get of you the stranger it feels.
And now that your rose is in bloom, your light hits the gloom of the day.
I’ve been kissed by a rose on the gray.
I’ve been kissed by a rose…
I’ve been kissed by a rose on the gray.
I’ve been kissed by a rose on the gray.
There is so much a man can tell you, so much he can say.
You remain my power, my pleasure, my pain.
To me you’re like a strong addiction that I can’t deny,
Did you know that when it snows,
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.
BABY
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray
The more I get of you the stranger it feels.
And now that your rose is in bloom, your light hits the gloom of the day.
‘Cuz I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray,
The more I get of you the stranger it feels.
And now that your rose is in bloom your light hits the gloom of the day.
Now that your rose is in bloom,
Now that your rose is in bloom your light hits the gloom of the day.
Yeah. That had nothing to do with anything. Except. I don’t know. I feel like I’ve lost everyone and everything. Is that bad? Can I disappear completely from the world? Because that would fix things, I think. I really just want someone to love me. Because nobody does right now. I miss feeling loved, because that is my obsession, my addiction, my vice. My truest vice. I feed upon other people’s emotions. Give me a girl who is hyper, and I shall become exhilarated, until she moves out of it once more. When she moves away from me, I become angry, and will do nearly anything to recapture that love. Usually, its too late. I read something once, from a book called “Pretty Things” by Sarra Manning, and it said something like:
She was just one of those dumpy girls that reckons she’s a lesbian because she hasn’t got anything any boy would be interested in anyway.
That’s always stuck in my head for some reason. Like… Is that the only reason I’m in this? Is that the only reason I pull this stuff? Do I pick the people I like because I don’t think I deserve the type of people I wish I could be with? Is that why I hang out with people who don’t actually like me?
This one last bullet you mentioned
Is my one last shot at redemption.
Cuz I know to live
You must give your life away…Perhaps that’s it? I probably have the whole song incorrect, but I see it meaning that the singer is looking for suicide, but needs someone to be the escape.
I’ve been housing all this doubt, and insecurity.
And I’ve been locked inside that house,
knowing that you hold the key.
And I’ve been dying to get out,
And that might be the death of me.
I’ve gotta get out of here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’m begging you, I’m begging you,
I’M BEGGING YOU TO BE MY ESCAPE.